Cinema-Scene.com > Volume 3 > Capsule Reviews '01 #1 |
Cinema-Scene.com
Special Edition
Capsule Reviews '01 #1
Opening Commentary: Since things are getting horribly backlogged with reviews from videos and late connections, I decided that the best way to deal with some of these films awaiting review is through capsule reviews. Normally, I would not do this, but right now it is the easiest way to get my feelings out on some films before they are old news. Looking over the capsule reviews I've written in the past, it might be better to call these reviews "Flippant Remarks."
The Capsule Reviews: American Outlaws, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles, Dungeons & Dragons, Exit Wounds, Glitter, Head Over Heels, Joe Dirt, Kingdom Come, Rock Star, Summer Catch, Sweet November, Two Can Play That Game, 3000 Miles to Graceland, The Wedding Planner.
American Outlaws (Dir: Les Mayfield, Starring Colin Farrell, Scott Caan, Ali Larter, Gabriel Macht, Gregory Smith, Harris Yulin, Will McCormack, Ronny Cox, Terry O' Quinn, Nathaniel Arcand, Kathy Bates, and Timothy Dalton) BY: DAVID PERRY Poor attempt at bringing the Jesse James story to young
audiences go for quick action and unintelligible plotting to make a film that could only
make sense if watched in slow motion. Colin Ferrell, fresh off of a breakthrough
performance in Tigerland, is wasted like many of his elders, including Kathy
Bates, Ronny Cox, Timothy Dalton, and Harris Yulin. |
Crocodile Dundee in Los
Angeles (Dir: Simon Wincer, Starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, Jere Burns, Jonathan Banks, Alec Wilson, Gerry Skilton, Steve Rackman, Serge Cockburn, Aida Turturro, and Paul Rodriguez) BY: DAVID PERRY The film that should hopefully stand as the final Dundee
in the long forgotten franchise, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles merely changes
locales from the first (New York to, well, Los Angeles) and adds a rambunctious kid.
Predictability ensues. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Dungeons & Dragons (Dir: Courtney Solomon, Starring Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Thora Birch, Kristen Wilson, Richard O'Brien, Tom Baker, Lee Arenberg, Edward Jewesbury, Robert Miano, and Bruce Payne) BY: DAVID PERRY Completely nonsensical film adaptation of the popular
card game comes closer to Super Mario Bros. than X-Men. Watching
Thora Birch (sandwiching this role between American Beauty and Ghost World)
and Jeremy Irons play their parts at the highest level of camp could be the most painful
sight this year. Marlon Wayans should never be allowed on a movie set again. |
Exit Wounds (Dir: Andrzej Bartkowiak, Starring Steven Seagal, DMX, Isaiah Washington, Anthony Anderson, Michael Jai White, Bill Duke, Jill Hennessy, Tom Arnold, Bruce McGill, David Vadim, Eva Mendes, Matthew G. Taylor, and Paolo Mastropietro) BY: DAVID PERRY Steven Seagal's last ditch attempt to revive his waning
career through the lens of en vogue director Andrzej Bartkowiak (Romeo Must Die)
only leaves the audience wondering what happened to that virile, interesting award-caliber
actor from Under Siege II: Dark Territory. DMX comes in for some duration
of the film to show some support beyond his egregious cover of the Al Green classic
"Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone." |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Glitter (Dir: Vondie Curtis-Hall, Starring Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Terrence Dashon Howard, Da Brat, Tia Texada, Valerie Pettiford, Ann Magnuson, Dorian Harewood, Grant Nickalls, Eric Benét, Padma Lakshmi, Don Ackerman, and Ed Sahely) BY: DAVID PERRY If Mariah Carey was hoping to prove acting abilities
comparable to her singing abilities, she has incredibly succeeded. The pop singer takes a
role adapted from Mrs. Norman Maine from A Star Is Born and turns it into long
reaction shot with occasional moments of singing. Max Beesley playing Stephen Dorff
playing Alec Baldwin doesn't help too much either. A near complete waste of time, Glitter
has the occasionally nice directorial touch, but the overall horrid story and performances
keep the film from ever going anywhere. |
Head Over Heels (Dir: Mark S. Waters, Starring Monica Potter, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Shalom Harlow, Ivana Milicevic, Sarah O'Hare, Tomiko Fraser, China Chow, Jay Brazeau, and Stanley DeSantis) BY: DAVID PERRY In the least dispicable Freddie Prinze, Jr., film yet, a
trio of models attempt to coerce Monica Potter into dating the secretive Prinze, who they
learn may or may not be a murderer. Potter and the models are fun, but the film just
dwindles without a point for much of the second half and ultimately ends without a bang
and with many hitches. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Joe Dirt (Dir: Dennie Gordon, Starring David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, Adam Beach, Christopher Walken, Jaime Pressly, Kid Rock, Erik Per Sullivan, Caroline Aaron, Fred Ward, and Hamilton Camp) BY: DAVID PERRY The career of David Spade becomes even less
understandable with this film, a starring vehicle almost as bad as his first solo effort, Lost
& Found two years ago. Spade's Joe Dirt lacks anything to speak of that is
either funny or interesting, and the film finally just stands defiantly as a waste of
time. One bright spot: Christopher Walken. |
Kingdom Come (Dir: Doug McHenry, Starring LL Cool J, Jada Pinkett, Vivica A. Fox, Loretta Devine, Anthony Anderson, Toni Braxton, Cedric the Entertainer, Darius McCrary, Richard Grant, Whoopi Goldberg, Masasa, Dominic Hoffman, Patrice Moncell, and Clifton Davis) BY: DAVID PERRY A family coming together for a funeral is meant for
laughs in Kingdom Come, though the laughs rarely appear. Beyond some fine
work from the always fun Loretta Devine, this film would be near laughless. However,
an undernourished element of sentimentality counters some of the film detractors and
allows it to come out mediocre instead of horrendous. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Rock Star (Dir: Stephen Herek, Starring Mark Whalberg, Jennifer Aniston, Dominic West, Timothy Spall, Timothy Olyphant, Dagmara Dominczyk, Jason Flemyng, Rachel Hunter, Jason Bonham, Jeff Pilson, Zakk Wylde, Blas Elias, Matthew Glave, Stephan Jenkins, and Jamie Williams) BY: DAVID PERRY With Moulin Rouge and Hedwig and the Angry
Inch reinventing the rock opera, Rock Star stands tall as the only limp
genre piece of the year. Mark Wahlberg's rise to fame in the 80's rock world feels
rather old-hat after he went through the same actions in Boogie Nights to better
quality. Timothy Spall, as the Porthos of the film's band, brings something of note
to the otherwise useless proceedings. |
Summer Catch (Dir: Michael Tollin, Starring Freddie Prinze, Jr., Jessica Biel, Fred Ward, Bruce Davison, Jason Gedrick, Matthew Lillard, Brittany Murphy, Marc Blucas, Brian Dennehy, Corey Pearson, Christian Kane, Wilmer Valderrama, Zena Grey, and Gabriel Mann) BY: DAVID PERRY In the baseball variation on Varsity Blues,
Freddie Prinze, Jr., plays ball and tries to get the girl. The film has been made
countless times at different settings, though Bull Durham succeeded with the
story and the setting. Fred Ward and Bruce Davison get the unfortunate job of
playing the Montague-Capulet dueling fathers. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Sweet November (Dir: Pat O'Connor, Starring Keanu Reeves, Charlize Theron, Jason Isaacs, Greg Germann, Liam Aiken, Robert Joy, Lauren Graham, Michael Rosenbaum, Frank Langella, Jason Kravits, and Ray Baker) BY: DAVID PERRY One might think that directors would notice the mistake
that Joan Chen made with Autumn in New York and take heed, but that is not the
case with Pat O'Connor (Dancing at Lughnasa), who reworks the Autumn
story for her Sweet November. Charlize Theron, in her attempt to appear in
75% of the Hollywood product, makes her dramatic lead debut to dismal effect. And
Keanu? Well, let's just say that Richard Gere did the part better. |
3000 Miles to Graceland (Dir: Demian Lichtenstein, Starring Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courtney Cox, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jon Lovitz, Howie Long, Thomas Haden Church, Bokeem Woodbine, Ice-T, David Kaye, and Louis Lombardi) BY: DAVID PERRY An opening with CGI scorpions wrestling could be the most
foreboding images ever to set the stage for a bad film. The premise --
Elvis-impersonator robbers -- has about as much potential for interest as a Keystone Kops
skit played on radio. And the romantic angle to Kurt Russell and Courtney Cox is the
least believable pairing of the year. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Two Can Play That Game (Dir: Mark Brown, Starring Vivica A. Fox, Morris Chestnut, Anthony Anderson, Wendy Raquel Robinson, Tamala Jones, Bobby Brown, Mo'Nique, Ray Wise, Dondre T. Whitfield, Gabrielle Union, and Zatella Beatty) BY: DAVID PERRY Light and fluffy and completely forgettable relationship
comedy Two Can Play That Game is anchored by a nice performance from Vivica A.
Fox. The rest of the cast, though, feel like they are straining to get through the hokum
filled screenplay by director Mark Brown. Best of all, though, the film proves that a
female version of Tomcats can sufficiently refrain from deplorable gross-out
comedy. |
The Wedding Planner (Dir: Adam Shankman, Starring Jennifer Lopez, Matthew McConaughey, Bridgette Wilson, Justin Chambers, Judy Greer, Alex Rocco, Joanna Gleason, Charles Kimbrough, Kevin Pollak, Fred Willard, Lou Myers, Frances Bay, and Kathy Najimy) BY: DAVID PERRY An innocuous little film that is neither threatening nor
terribly enjoyable, The Wedding Planner stands as a distraction for easy
video-rental perusal. Even still, it does not offer much beyond a couple cute set
pieces and a nice Kevin Pollak appearance. |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
BUY THIS FILM'S FROM AMAZON.COM |
Reviews by:
David Perry
©2001, Cinema-Scene.com
http://www.cinema-scene.com